Wednesday, November 20, 2024

from the Black Notebook (age 15/16)

To grow up in America
    Young, white, male
  I drink Robitussin (4 fun)

  I'm pulled between extremes
        and it keeps me going
            and it's killing me

  I can't believe how I got here
    Sexy drugs and Rock N' Roll
    Madness,
    It's a wonder I'm alive
        (to see the SUN)










As children we learned
        Learned the child's freedom
        Learned to procrastinate our birthright

Older we,
        Heavy officers hungry for adolescence,
        Stumbled backwards,
        Learned the Gold Rule

    In high-school
        We forgot that we were led
            by a kindergartener who came into a
            fifth grader graduated grammar school
            full of ideas about the 1st Amendment
            to learn the price of silence 

    Hung between 2 worlds,
            We learn the worst of both















Television sloth reminds of death
The air here doesn't let you go:
            it hangs on
    A chair is your throne
            then a prison
       Mansion confinement
         Window eyes
          A grim, expected surprise

        Who dug these insane walls
            around my spirit
            around my fence?
        Whose blueprint?


        Unanswered phone alert
        Who hurt you in your own
            house
        Was it a cat, or a mouse?











Hey!
I saw you there in the corner of
    shadows, sitting
And in my head we got Mexican
    food that I wouldn't eat
    and smoked cigarettes that I don't
                   have
    and these poems left my page
    and these dreams left my head







Train tracks on a bridge
We forgot ourselves and broke
bottles
Standing above
Boats on the river

Follow the tracks down a cement
    jump,
  Humping the rail
    Kicking rocks

A train

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